tries to spell word
cannot spell word
uses different word
tips for flirting: carve your number into a potato and roll it towards eligible females you wish to court with
the fact that this would work on me has me concerned
1.
no one ever congratulates you
for doing the really difficult things
like driving on the freeway or getting out of bed or
staying alive
2.
every friendship you make is a countdown
to the moment
when they finally can’t deal
with the missed calls and canceled hangouts
every…
hah
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
